So there's this blog called "Stuff Christians Like," kinda like the "Stuff White People Like" website. I promise it's not offensive or weird. It's really, really funny, and I think the point of it is to make Christians more self-aware about who we are, and some of the weird things we consistently do. Stuff like having food-eating contests at youth group, racing each other to see who can find 1 Thessalonians 4:7 the quickest, and breaking up with our boyfriends or girlfriends after retreats.
Also, he occasionally writes really encouraging (one of those words I really didn't hear until I joined the church - kinda like "love on" - I think it means "makes you feel better and helps you gain faith") posts about prayer, faith, and all that good stuff. And this morning, I was thinking about something I wanted to write about, and it's rather John Acuff-like, so I figured I should probably credit him.
So, John Acuff, I salute you.
Here is my Stuff Christians Like post.
Stuff Christians Like: Trying to Predict God.
We all know God is unpredictable. Or at least, we should know that. After all, parting a giant sea? Sending himself to earth as a baby? In a manger? Weird. No one could really guess that kind of stuff. But still, I (and I think a lot of us do this, but I'm going to just talk about my experiences) tend to try to, um, outwit God. It's like God and I are playing a chess game, and I'm like "oooooh God. I've played you before. I've seen your tricks. You're gonna move that knight and capture my pawn. Hahahaha I've got you now!" And then God turns the chess board into a pony, and gives me ice cream and suddenly we're sitting on a beach in the Bahamas, and I'm like "what?"
In real life (that situation would be sweet, but I don't think it's very realistic - then again, I'm not God) it looks something like this: I really want to go to Taylor University and major in youth ministry. There are scholarships. I visit and like it a lot. My boyfriend is planning to go there, and also wants to major in youth ministry. Thus, I start trying to predict God, automatically. I think that this situation is clearly going to happen, and God has obviously set it up. I'm going to Taylor. I'm going to run a ministry program with my boyfriend. Hooray! ...and then I feel this strange calling to Illinois Wesleyan, even though I didn't like it at all when I visited. And then I visit, and meet a girl I had heard about but never met, pray about it for a week, and send in my confirmation letter. And go to Wesleyan. Even though I thought I was going to Taylor. And now I love Wesleyan. And because of Wesleyan, I've learned a ton, grown a lot in my faith, worked at Timber-lee, and now I'm in India. And I have a bunch of amazing friends. And that boyfriend and I aren't dating now, and he's majoring in Computer Science.
The point of all this is as follows: I thought God was going to do one thing, and then God went "nope, I've got an awesome plan for you. And it's not what you think it is. It's better." This happens all the time. God is constantly messing with my plans, and substituting His own better ones. Like that time I wanted to study abroad in London, and now I'm doing missionary work in India instead. Haha...that's funny, considering imperialism. But seriously - why do I keep trying to outwit God? Why do I see something God is doing in my life, and start trying to look ahead? To think like God, when really, I'm a person. A small person. And God is really, really, big.
At camp this summer, one of the speakers (Oliver!!) used to pray that his words would be not his, but God's. That his thoughts would be not his, but God's. He swiped that from Isaiah 59[edit, oops, 55]:7-8.
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
If God's ways are higher than mine, then why do I think I can guess them? I can't. I can't predict who's going to be the new youth pastor, or what I'll learn from Prac Crit, or how God will use me in India. And I need to learn to trust that God's ways are approximately a gazillion and a half times better than mine. Unfortunately, that's not a natural place for my mind to go. I'd rather hyperspazz over planning something and ask "what if?" 34723847289347 times than just roll with God's will. But I think that's a pride thing, just like everything else with which I struggle. So really, this all comes down to pride, and acknowledging that I am small, and my plans are silly compared to God's. And God loves me (as much as He loves everyone else, which is a lot), so His plans include wonderful things, such as sending me to India.
And God and I aren't playing a chess game. And if we were, I'd lose. I think that when I realize that there is no game, and that God is trying to make my life amazing, if only I'd trust Him - I think that's when I'll really start learning something.
[edit]
I meant to put this in here when I was writing it, but forgot. So here it is:
"Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." - James 4:13-15.
Please feel free to comment and discuss at will. I'm sure a lot of you have a lot more wisdom than I do, so I definitely welcome help.
And I'll be praying that God continues to wreck my pride, and calms my brain down a little. If you want to pray that too, that'd be super. Also, I've been purposefully giving myself time every day to rest, pray, and reflect, and I'd love to be praying for you all. So if you want, please feel free to send me prayer requests. Snudelma@iwu.edu. Donnyobaad (thank you).
Oh! I almost forgot. I've been reading all of your comments, and I appreciate them all A LOT. They really help me keep my optimism. And you all are super-smart. I feel very, very blessed to know you guys. :-)
Faith, hope, and love (oh hey Charlie Welke),
Stephanie
9 comments:
Dear Stephanie,
Am enjoying your descriptions of your journey in India. Keep them coming and continue to learn and grow. (signed) Uncle Milt
Dear Stephanie,
I have been reading your blogs, and I have been following your adventures. Please take good care of yourself. We are all hoping that you will be safe and happy. Keep the blogs coming. Loads of love, Aunt Naomi
Ahahaha I remember that site! I only read one post (the one about the bass player face in worship bands which I definitely laughed at), but I should read the rest.
And your post was an awesome encouragement to me. I didn't get to go to church today because I was sick, which oddly always happens my last Sunday at home, but I did pray that God would give me some sort of encouragement as I deal with trusting Him and letting go of something in my life. And I think reading this helped. So thank you for writing that! I needed it.
=]
Hmm, that's interesting. I dunno, I'm not as religious as you are so I can't say I completely agree or understand. But I am happy to see you take such pleasure from your religion!
As always, I love and miss you so much!
Auskis: Austrian skis (slang)
The link didn't work for me, so here it is again:
http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/
I've been a faithful reader of this blog, Knee, but I yet to comment because I don't think I have anything to add. Other than: Wow! You're wonderful! And we love you!
LOVE!!!!!!!
Squap: Stopping to squat and pray in the moment. As in: I'm going to squap right now and pray for Stephanie and that continue to be driven by God's plans for her and not her own.
hmmm... its interesting how what you seem to be going through in several of these posts is VERY similar to what I'm going through... you just seem to be having more breakthroughs about why.
I'm so glad that you are seeing God moving in your life and look forward to reading more about your experiences (and, further down the road, hearing about them in person).
----
beadu (bee-due)
- brittish slang for a book cover
hey stephanie, it's shana. long time no talk, right?
well, i found your blog and i'm really excited to keep tabs on it because you and i have very different perspectives on life and I think i'll be able to learn stuff from reading about your experiences.
I was watching something on the history channel today about the seven deadly sins, and apparently pride is the worst of all of them. You talked a bit about pride in this post, and it caught my attention.
as a humanist I really don't think pride is a bad thing. i'm awesome. people are awesome. we do awesome things.
one thing that confuses me about christianity is how some christians choose to not give themselves enough credit. the idea that all good things in life happen because of god, and not because of humanity, seems kind of sad to me.
i don't want to sound mean, really, i'm just ignorant when it comes to this topic. how does belittling (not the word i really want to use but it's the only one i can think of) yourself have a positive influence on your life?
Hello lovely,
1. the story about your life and what you expected to happen and then what really did happen makes me laugh, I'm not sure why, but it does. Oh high school :)
2. Your outlook on God's will is very relevant to my life now and I really appreciate your thoughts...I haven't heard Isaiah 55 in a while, it was quite refreshing.
3. I've been reading a fabulous book (The Screwtape Letters) by a fabulous writer (C.S. Lewis) and he gives an interesting perspective on pride (in response to your and Shana's posts). The book is a series of letters written from one devil to another. The teachings, if you will, from one devil(Screwtape) to his nephew(Wormwood), a devil in training. I'm not sure if you've read it or heard of it, but the concept while strange is actually quite enthralling. When talking about Pride, the devil talks about the power of humility and how it can be distorted and used for either good or evil. "The Enemy (who in this case is God because the letters are from the point of view of a devil) wants [man], in the end, to be so free from any bias in his own favour that he can rejoice in his own talents as frankly and as gratefully as in his neighbour's talents--or in a sunrise, an elephant, or a waterfall. He wants each man, in the long run, to be able to recognise all creatures (even himself) as glorious and excellent things"(59). It is interesting, however, that the reaction of Screwtape(the uncle devil) is to encourage his nephew to "let [man] think of it not a self-forgetfulness, but as a certain kind of opinion(namely a low opinion ) of his own talents and character...By this method, thousands of humans have been brought to think that humility means pretty women trying to believe they are ugly and clever men trying to believe they are fools." I just thought this section of the book is incredibly interesting.
Soooo I leave you with this, continue pursuing God's will in your life, not discrediting your own passions and goals, but attributing them to the wonderful and beautiful way that God has created your heart. This way, when God changes directions it is not that you should blame yourself for that path that you thought you would be on, but rather you can be excited at the prospect of God's knowledge of all things in this life. I know I am definitely learning from this idea, and I figured you'd be interested to hear it :)
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
~Spammy
Steph,
I promise I'm still reading every time you update :). I have yet to form truly coherent thoughts about how to respond...and I mostly enjoy reading :)
my thoughts are with you, my dear. stay safe. and keep having the time of your life :). you're doing so much good, and I'm so proud of you.
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